Editorial: ‘Twas the Month After Christmas

’Twas the month after Christmas, and the Senate and House
Had just passed a relief bill that Trump tried to douse.
The people had suffered in the pandemic scare:
Sick, fearful, and jobless; Trump had nary a care.

He was pardoning cronies convicted by Feds,
As authoritarian visions danced in his head.
MAGAs in their T-shirts and red MAGA caps
Were hopelessly lost in their intellectual naps.

They’d left Facebook for Parler, and embraced QAnon,
And the conspiracy theories…they quickly latched on. 
“Covid’s a hoax! Fauci is lying!
The vaccine injects microchips that *They* use for spying!”

Though more than two months had passed since the election,
The MAGAs were calling for vote redirection.
“Overturn the votes!” They shouted and tweeted.
“The election was stolen! Trump won’t be defeated!”

“I won the election,” Trump repeatedly whinged, 
Proving to all, he was completely unhinged.
A pandemic was raging, the country in trouble,
But Trump wasn’t concerned as he hid in his bubble.

When out on the Mall there arose such a clatter,
Trump sent Donald Junior to see what was the matter.
Junior opened the window, threw up on the sash. 
(He’d been up all night partying and was starting to crash.)

The sun on the crest of the snow on the Mall
Gave a feeling of panic to Donald the Small.
When what to his watering eyes should appear,
But a man in aviators, a mask, and white hair.

With U.S. Secret Service walking alongside him,
Junior knew right away that it must be Joe Biden.
Biden spoke a soft word, then went straight to his work-
Calling out the Trump aides with a list like a clerk:

Out, Donald, Out, Junior,
Ivanka and Jared!
Go, Miller, and Kudlow,
Out, Kayleigh and Eric!

Now Pompeo, Mnuchin, Ben Carson and Barr,
Leave, VP Mike Pence and Alex Azar!
Mark Meadows, Navarro, and Betsy Devos,
Now dash away all of you! I’m the new boss!

And in the White House, there arose such a clatter
As Trump’s cabinet and advisors started to scatter. 
The door of the White House opened with a shout,
As four uniformed officers escorted Trump out.

Trump’s cruel little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And he kept on repeating, “I won! I won’t go!”
“C’mon, man,” said Biden. “Act like an adult.”
“Not joking. You’re leaving…And please take your cult.”

“You’ve held up the Defense Bill, and covid relief. 
You’ve belittled our soldiers, Mr. ‘Commander-in-Chief.’
You’ve sown huge division, racism and hate…
And let’s just not talk about your Secretary of State.”

Then Biden looked into the camera (they social distanced that day),
And said, “Folks! Just hang in there, cause I’m on my way!
Then they heard him exclaim, despite ex-President Cheddar,
“Happy Holidays, all! Now let’s build back better!”

*with admiration for Clement Moore

Trump’s Every Tweet is an Admission of his Incompetence. Plus, the Case for Prosecuting Donald Trump | Glenn Kirschner [2020-12-28]

Biden says Inauguration Day events may look different due to pandemic |
CBS News [2020-12-04]

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